Photo by Darius Bashar on Unsplash

Essential (and sought after) professional quality, self-confidence is not innate.

Fortunately, it is possible to develop it on a daily basis.

Having confidence in yourself at work means having confidence in your skills, in your ability to do a given job.

it is also reflected in the general attitude: you send the message "I know what I'm doing, trust me" to the people you talk to.

Some people are naturally self-confident, but they are a minority.

Most of us (and I am one of them) have a natural tendency to underestimate ourselves, to devalue ourselves, to not be confident in our abilities and skills, to not consider ourselves capable of doing such and such a task.

In some cases, you can even develop impostor syndrome.

And in the end, we don't dare.

We don't dare take initiatives, we don't dare show what we are really worth, we don't dare to let our ambitions know, we don't dare to assert ourselves, we don't dare to quit our job to launch his box ..

How to improve your self-confidence?

But lack of self-confidence is not inevitable!

By adopting good daily habits, you will strengthen your confidence day after day, you will assert yourself, and finally dare to be who you really are and do what you want to do.

1) know yourself

To build self-confidence at work (and in life in general), it's important to know who you really are.

Knowing yourself requires introspection, and being aware of your strengths and weaknesses.

It is also knowing what are the core values that drive us, what we are ready to accept at work and what we will not.

Personally, I know that I need autonomy and freedom in my job, and I wouldn't be able to take a position where I don't have enough freedom to do my job as I see fit.

2) Accept who you are

We would like to be more this, less that, but it is clear that this is not always the case.

We are as we are, we are who we are, and we have to accept it.

You may want to communicate with ease, with large gestures, a loud voice and with confidence, but if you're an introvert, that won't be the case, at least not without hard work.

So rather than wasting time and energy trying to be someone idealized (that we are not), it is better to accept who we are, with our strengths and weaknesses. , and let go.

Yes you can always improve, yes you can always change, but that doesn't mean you have to put a stop to who you are.

Accepting who you are also means loving yourself as you are, with all of its imperfections.

This is what will boost our self-esteem, and therefore our self-confidence.

3) Be Authentic

Authenticity is the key to all communication and all sincere relationships.

Behave as you are, speak as you usually do, don't try to play a role, it won't be natural, it will show, and deep inside you will know that you are not showing your real side .

By being yourself and stopping to play a role, you will no longer care what your colleagues or the N + 1 think.

Being authentic at work and in my life has been liberating for me: it has allowed me to gain self-confidence at work, to no longer worry about what others think of who I am, what I say or what I do.

4) Ask Yourself questions

Questioning is the key to self-improvement. Our desires and needs can change over time, and it's worthwhile to stop now and then and ask yourself the right questions:

• Who am I really deep inside?
• What are the deep values that drive me?
• What do I want? Do i have dreams
• Do I take one step at a time to achieve what I want on a daily basis?
• How can I make sure I get what I want professionally?
• Is my work in line with my desires? my needs ? my values ?
• If not, what can I do to make it happen?

These are the questions that made me rethink my future, to realign my professional career with my inner self.

Really take the time to answer them: knowing what you want and don't want is a prerequisite for developing self-confidence.

5) Stop Comparing Yourself

We dream all the time (and secretly) of being physically like such an actor, of having a house as beautiful as the cousin (who succeeded in life).

You have to stop comparing yourself to others at all costs. Already because we devalue ourselves by doing this. But also because we do not have an overview: the comparison only covers a few specific points.

Yes, Mark Zuckerberg created Facebook, he is a millionaire, is the boss of his company, has an interesting and rewarding job ...

But we must also see the other side of the coin: his job takes him a long time, he faces enormous responsibilities (see the Cambridge Analytica scandal, where he had to explain himself to the American Congress), his smallest facts and gestures are watched by the media, etc ...

Maybe deep down inside, he's not that happy in his job and in his relationship, who knows (pure guess on my part).

By relativizing and having an overview, we realize that other people's lives are not necessarily better than ours.

So rather than focusing your energy on the idealized lives of others, focus on yours. After all, she's not that bad.

6) Forget Your Flaws

We create imaginary faults all the time, we devalue ourselves, we are afraid of not doing this well enough, of not having enough skills there.

Because we have not followed specific studies or that we do not have 15 years of professional experience in a specific field, we imagine that we are not well placed to talk about it. .

On this blog, I mainly talk about well-being at work.

Do you think I have had a long education in human resources?

Do you think that I have a proven track record of several years as a HR Director or Chief Happiness Officer?

Do you think I waited until I had completed 33 certification training courses and read 52 management books to create the blog?

The answer is no, every time.

It's a topic that interests me, so I started talking about it, talking about my beliefs, and I educated myself at the same time, I learned.

I'm still learning.

I don't consider myself to be an expert in well-being at work, but I have passed the stage of impostor syndrome.

7) Give Yourself The right to make Mistakes

We must accept the right to make mistakes: we are all human, we are all fallible. Even the best experts among us.

Allowing ourselves to make mistakes is accepting that we can be wrong, it is removing this enormous pressure that we ourselves put on our shoulders.

Are you making a mistake?

This is not the end of the world!

Don't try to hide it, correct it, and learn from your mistakes.

How do you think the experts arrived at their positions? By groping at the beginning, like everyone else, making mistakes, learning, and correcting.

8) Capitalize on your Natural Talents

Whether in society or in business, we spend our time looking at our weaknesses to try to dispel them.

I just want to say, WHY

Why focus on your weaknesses when you could focus on your strengths?

It's better to spend 10 hours of your time improving your strengths than trying to dispel your weaknesses.

Already, it will be much more effective, but in addition by focusing on the positive that is in us, and not the negative (the weaknesses), we increase our self-confidence without knowing it.

In the book Strengthsfinders, Tom Rath expands on this idea, and helps people find what their strengths are to focus on.

9) Set Micro-Challenges

Setting yourself challenges that are easy and quick to achieve is one of the best ways I know to improve your self-confidence.

These are called quick wins.

By completing these challenges, we will quickly collect successes, which will inflate our ego, put us in a positive spiral, which will allow us to chain even more successes.

The sense of pride that we feel at the end of each successful challenge conditions us to have more confidence in ourselves.

10) Reward Yourself

When you are successful, when you have finally dared to do or say something, when you have more confidence in yourself, it is important to reward yourself.

11) Take Care of your Appearance

We often forget it, but by taking care of our appearance, we have better self-confidence.

Whether it's clothes, makeup that highlights your beauty, or a close shave, taking care of your appearance boosts your ego and restores self-confidence.

I'm not telling you to wear a suit or suit and tie to go to work, on the contrary!

Don't wear a suit if you're not comfortable in it.

Be authentic, be yourself, including in your dressing habits, but remember to take care of your appearance, to be more confident.

12) Affirm your opinions

We are often afraid to assert our opinions at work and in meetings.

To contradict your boss in the middle of a meeting, or to say that we don't agree?

"Ohlala, no, I'm too scared, I'd rather nod my head, smile appropriately and be silent."

If you disagree with something, or if you think there is a better way to solve a problem than the consensus, say so.

You will not make a fool of yourself and you will have no regrets after the fact: you will have given your opinion.

After that, for others to come around to that opinion, that's another story.

13) Take Initiatives

Don't wait for opportunities, they won't just fall out of thin air.

Take initiatives, create your own opportunities.

Step outside of your mission, speak in meetings, take the initiative to plan an in-house mini-training.

14) Help Others

Even though it's hard to admit it to ourselves, we all need help at one point or another in our careers.

If you see someone having a hard time, go selflessly offer your help.

Not only will you do your good deed for the day, but the feeling of accomplishment that comes from helping is a tremendous boost in self-confidence.

15) Not Worrying about The Gaze of others

Finally, stop worrying about "what will we say" and the like.

No matter what other people think, you live for yourself, not for them.

This is your life, your career, so if there's something you want to do, do it.

By adopting these 15 habits, you should be able to regain self-confidence. I'm not saying it's easy, nor that it will be done in 3 days, but if the will is there, and you persevere, there is no reason not to get there!